If We Survive
by clara-smiths-writing
Summary: Alexis woke up in a dark lift without any memory of how she got there and who she was. She now has to deal with living in a glade full of boys, a job she had to fight for and the constant feeling of being trapped forever. Until this boy shows up; Thomas, not only changing everything in the glade, but everything she believed in. How that sounds to her? Well more than crappy...
1. Where Am I?

**Hello there ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) So I finally decided to make a Maze Runner Story. I hope you like the character I created. I'm always open for suggestions and criticism. Enjoy the first chapter of my story!**

Darkness. That was everything I could see. Absolute and eternal darkness. The ground I laid on was moving, I seemed to be in some kind of lift. As I sat up, a stinging pain on my forehead was unignorable. Some sticky liquid ran down my face and I tasted the metal flavour of my own blood. I looked around, but I couldn't make out anything except several boxes next to me. They seemed to be no threat so I concentrated on the bigger danger. Well, was I in danger? Sure, spending a lot of time in a dark lift wasn't my dream but it could be worse I suppose.

I couldn't remember how I got here, in fact I couldn't remember _anything_. Where was I? How did I get here? What about my family? Did I have family? _**Who**_ was I? _Alexis_. That was the only thought that seemed to return to my mind. I looked down at myself, which was useless since I was sat in utter darkness.

The lift began to shake even more than before, making the boxes slip against the wall and me desperately trying to get a grip on something. Finally it stopped. Loud noises made me protect my ears, and suddenly light flooded the small place I as located in. I quickly shielded my eyes.

A lot of voices shouted and talked, called things I couldn't even understand and all the noise was too much for me. I felt like passing out, but it didn't seem to be the best idea in a situation like mine. Suddenly there was a loud noise next to me. Undoubtedly the noise of someone jumping down next to me.

"Hello? Are you okay?", the voice of a boy asked me. His voice, seemed somewhat familiar.

"I'm not gonna hurt, you're safe now.", the boy continued while he shifted closer to me. _You're safe now._ These words seemed familiar too, like a mantra in my head. I slowly put my hands down. The boy who faced me was blonde, apparently very tall, and had the sincerest brown eyes I ever saw. Well, I couldn't remember how many brown eyes I saw before but he seemed nice.

"I'm Newt. It's alright Greenie. I know it's confusing at first."

"I'm not a Greenie.", I replied my voice higher than I expected it to be.

"Well do you remember your name?", he asked, there was an undertone in his voice I disliked, it sounded teasing, like it was highly unlikely for me to remember my name.

"Alexis.", I said confidentely.

"What's taking so long down there?", a voice shouted from upon us. The voice wasn't as familiar as Newt's was. It was the way he talked. The accent.

"We don't have time for this Newt! Bring this shank up whether he wants it or not.", another voice yelled. They were all male.

"It's a girl.", Newt yelled back, apparently annoyed. I huffed and crossed my arms. Well thank you Captain obvious. A rope was thrown down, it nearly hit my face but I finally decided to move. I got up as Newt secured himself on the rope before waiting for me to do the same. Since I hadn't really a chance of going somwhere else, I joined him. We were pulled up rather quickly, which surprised me because it sure wasn't automatically. When I freed myself, I begant to have a look at my surroundings. A bunch of boys waited for us. They were all boys, I quickly noticed, and every single one seemed to wear dirty clothes. Clothes that looked like none of them would care what they'd look like while working.

"That shank looks like a girl!"

"That's because she is one slinthead."

"Shuckface!"

"I call dibs!"

"What's with her hair colour?"

"That's one pretty shank!"

"Why did they sent a girl?"

That question was the only one I thought about.

"Who do you mean with 'they'?", I asked, turning, so I could detect the boy who said it. It turned out to be a mean-looking boy who was built like a buffalo. Also his eyebrows were anything but delicate.

"You heard me shank."

"Alright. That's enough. Everybody back to work!", A dark skinned boy shouted. He seemed to be the boss since everyone immediately went back to whatever they did before.

"Name's Alby, greenie. Welcome to the glade." I looked at him with confusion. Newt was the only other person who hadn't walked away. I turned to the only boy witht the same accent.

"What's a shank?", I asked confused. Newt and Alby started to chuckle.

"You'll get used to the Glader slang. Do you remember your name?"

"Alexis.", I repeated my name and gave him a little smile. The corner of his mouth twitched, as if they tried to form a smile but failed miserably. He did not seem to smile a lot.

"Okay we'll start with the tour. Newt, you show her around; Runners'll be back me the earlier you accept that you live here now, the easier it will be for you.", Alby said and started walking away. Newt looked at me before he started walking. I stumbled after him, still confused. Several boys stopped working to look at us. Newt glared at them sternly, which made them return to their work quickly. The looks they gave me weren't that delightful, so I didn't mind. The huge walls were unmissable, everything seemed to be kept aay from these walls. Only a gate showed what layed behind them.

"These walls protect us.", Newt said, as he had seen me glancing over at them. I nodded, it looked like questions weren't desirable. But what would anyone need to be protected of? Who put all those boys in here? And why was I here? More and more questions were forming in my head and I wanted to get an answer for every single one.

 **Okay, I know this was rather short and weird, but yeah. I'm looking forward to your opinions! Please let me know if you liked it or you have any useful ideas!**

 **clara-smiths-writing**

 **-xx**


	2. Blending In

It's been a while since I arrived in the glade. About six months I think. I couldn't really describe what it was like, living here wit all those boys, running out into the Maze everyday and looking for a way out. I had to fight hard for my job. I lost count of how many boys claimed I'd be too fragile and weak to be a runner.

I wasn't even allowed to be tested! Newt made sure I became a Med-Jack because it seemed to be the 'least dangerous' job. I complained a lot and asked sarcastically why he didn't make me a Track Hoe in the first way but when he actually started thinking about it I quickly shut up. Newt wasn't goin to give in. But I wasn't going to either. I annoyed Alby all the time and made sure to ask him at least twice everyday.

He then finally gave in and said I could be a runner if I convinced Minho. That was the hardest part. I knew being sarcastic and annoying wouldn't bother him, he was the glade's drama queen after all. I tried everything, but he seemed untouched by whatever I said.

I thought about giving up, accepting the fact that I was a med-jack and that it wasn't even a really bad job. Jeff and Clint weren't bad company, I just wanted to help.

One day, I got up long before the sun would, and decide to talk to Minho. I was greeted with an "You're lucky I get up early shank." but he stopped talking when I didn't shoot back. I told him why I wanted to be a runner, that it was more than a stupid job to me and I didn't want to lose hope completely.

That was how we became friends. He tested me the next days way more than neccessary, but I passed every single task he gave me. Not everyone was happy about my new job; Newt refused to talk to me until I jumped on his back and yelled "Give me love you shank!"

Being happy was another thing I promised myself. The glade wasn't a nice place to be, and nobody had many reasons to laugh. Therefore being happy and making others happy became my second job. Minho often called me a pain in the ass but he let it go when I sweetly replied that I was his pain in the ass.

Everything was fine. Well if you let out the whole trapped in a maze thing. I knew it was wrong, but I started to accept my destiny. I was happy that I was a runner. It reminded me everyday that I couldn't forget, that none of us was meant to be here.

By now I got along with most of the gladers. A few were still mean as fuck but I had a reply to every comment. The Sloppers also were some creepy shits, enjoying their job a little too much. Chuck was a real sweetheart, one of the few people I liked right from the start. Jeff and Clint were my friends since my short time as med-jack. Newt was just really a ray of sunshine, caring for everyone and everything, but he gets angry whenever someone (me) calls him cute little shit. Gally and I were like brother and sister, we had good and bad days. Along with him, the builders didn't really like me, but accepted the fact that I was one of them now. Frypan and I got along well. In my free days, I liked to help in the kitchen, and we could just talk for hours. And did I mention the cook battles? Yeah those actually existed and were the highlight of the month, next to the arrival of a greenie of course.

Alby was actually nicer than he first seemed. As the leader of all those shuckfaces I could understand that being in a good mood happened as often as my period. Like I said, Minho was my best friend. Sure he was an asshole, and while we spent a whole week with pranking each other, we just grew closer. He was a Mean Hoe don't get me wrong, but his humour brightened up my day and if he wanted to, he could cheer up everyone in less than a second. Many gladers thought we were a 'thing' but we just didn't feel that way.

Casual flirting seemed to be part of our personality by now. The glade wasn't much, but I started to love it, along with every single glader.

It was my free day when the new greenie was suppose to arrive. I was currently arguing with Newt whether I should be allowed to call him 'princess newtie' or not when the alert went off. Everyone stopped in their tracks and gathered around the lift. I hated that. Everyone remembered how scary it was to be the new greenie, surrounded by strangers or shanks like Eddy.

"You're a shank Eddy!", I let him know.

"Shut it Alexis."

"You know you love me.", I winked and he shook his head at me.

A loud grumble let us know that the greenie was here. Newt and Gally jumped down and opened the upper part of the lift.

Of course, the other gladers started teasing the greenie before he even knew what was going on.

"Look at that shank!"

"How old is he?"

"Looks like a klunk in a T-Shirt!"

"You're the klunk shuckface!", I replied annoyed.

"Dude, it smells like feet down there!", Cliff complained, making me actually laugh.

"Hope you enjoyed the one-way trip greenie."

"Ain't no ticket back bro.", Michael called making me roll my eyes. Michael you're being a bigger drama queen than Minho. I couldn't really see the greenie but he looked terribly confused and the familiar feeling of pity flooded my mind.

The rope was thrown down for him and he hestitantly secured himself before he was pulled up. The gladers never stopped making rude comments about his appearance but it was like he couldn't even hear them. His eyes wandered around, trying to find anything familiar, but failed of course. He glanced at me, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't get lost in his eyes. I gave him the lightest of smiles but he wasn't sure how to respond.

"Nice to meet ya shank. Welcome to the glade.", Alby greeted the confused boy. He turned around in a circle, taking everything in. Again, he looked at me, as if he was waiting for me to explain all of this. I didn't really think about it the time, as the only girl I was probably easy to detect.

"Look at the greenbean.", Gally smirked, making sure to show the greenie that he was the boss; "Gonna break his shuck neck checkin' out Alexis."

The other gladers snickered while I crossed my arms. "Jealous much?", Minho asked and I smiled confidentely, making Gally grumble into his non-existent beard.

"Shut your hole Gally.", Alby said annoyed, probably afraid that we will start a discussion.

Thr greenie now examined the gladers but his eyes kept coming back to me. I knew I was an eye catch but he was exaggerating it a bit to be honest.

"Where am I?", he asked, still focused on me. Okay, it was getting weird. It nearly seemed like he...knew me somehow? Was that even possible?

"Nowhere good.", Alby replied for me. Oops, I completely forgot his question.

Knowing which part followed, I made eye-contact with Newt. As interesting as this greenie was, I hated the whole questioning part and he seemed to be full of them.

"Alright you better get back to work shanks!", Newt shouted, and I once again was thankful for his caring personality. I gave the greenie a slight nod before turning to find Minho. Free day meant at least a few runs. He waited for me a few steps ahead.

"Seems like you got a new boyfriend.", he teased. I half-smirked at him.

"Oh! But I could never cheat on you my Lord!", I whined making him laugh. I glanced up at him as subtile as possible. Minho didn't like greenies. Well, he hadn't anything against the person in particular, it was more the fact that he was just as helpless as the others, and there was a new person every month, making it harder and harder to see the gladers as your family.

We decided to make a race. Chuck would check who ran faster. I was currently a few steps ahead of Minho, but my legs started to ache. I stopped when I heard someone calling my name. It was Newt, and next to him stood the new greenie.

"Newt! I was beating Mean hoe's ass!", I complained and got shoved to the side as revenge.

"Just get your bloody ass here.", Newt demanded.

"What got your panties in a twist?", I asked while jogging over to them.

"Well, our greenbean here, wants the tour from no one but your beautiful self.", Newt said sarcastically, showing what he thought of this idea. I raised an eyebrow at the greenie who blushed but kept his gaze on me.

"Um. Okay. Come with me.", I shrugged, too taken aback to reply with my usual dumb ass comments.

clara-smiths-writing


	3. Questions

"Okay, this must be confusing as hell to you, but I recommend you to not ask anyone here questions, alright? Ask and they will put you in the slammer without food believe me.", I started before he could open his mouth and ask anything. I hid my smirk since I knew I caught him of guard.

"Does that include you?", he asked while catching up with me. I looked up at him with a smile. I liked that greenie, he was something different.

"Depends.", I shrugged.

"On what?"

"Whether I like you or not.", I shot back. He scratched the back of his neck nervously, as if he wasn't sure that he could make anyone like him.

"Why is everyone calling me Greenbean?"

"Because you are the newest Newbie. You'll get used to the Glader slang, don't worry I didn't get a shucking word in the first few days here. It's not Alby's fault. You're the first greenie since-"

"Since Nick was killed.", he finished. I raised my eyebrows at him. Alby told him? That was not the first thing _I_ would tell a greenie if he shows up here. I shook my head and finally began with the tour. I wasn't in the mood for this whole question thing.

I gave him the tour as short as possible, and simply ignored his questions which made him angrier and angrier, until he apparently had had enough. He grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look up in his eyes, these very beautiful, stunningly hot brown eyes. Oh shit, no wait I'm angry.

"What the hell?! Let me go!"

"Seriously. Where am I?"

"I don't know, okay! Do you think anyone of us knows? We're stuck here just like you are now and there's nothing we can do about it! Every month there's a new greenie and we're probably stuck here until we die of old-age! So get used to it!", I yelled. I could feel a sudden pain in my chest and I refused to look at him. I felt terrible.

He was a greenie, it was not his fault, it was nobody's fault that we had to go through this hell, except the creators's. He was confused and scared, probably on the verge of tears, and I yelled at him.

"I'm sorry.", I muttered softly.

"No, I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that. But I'll tell you something; I don't care how long any of you was here, we will find a way out, I promise.", he said and let me go. Several gladers were now watching us but to be honest I didn't care.

"Really?", I asked with a little smile.

"Really."

Then I did something, something very stupid and I didn't know why. I pulled him into a tight hug, seeking comfort in the boy who only arrived minutes ago. He was tense at first, very surprised of course, but then he put his arms around me and I could feel him resting his chin on the top of my head.

"Hey Lovebirds! Sorry to interrupt ya but if the tour ain't ready now you better finish tomorrow. Chuck will show you where to sleep and Alexis, Minho is looking for you.", Newt informed us. I knew I blushed as I pulled away, but comfort was nothing you could find in the glade.

"See you around?", the greenie asked and I could swear I saw a little smile on his face.

"Yeah.", I said, still embarrased. Newt and I walked silently towards the runner's hut until he decided to break the silence.

"So you and the new greenie?"

"Shut up, it's not what you think.", I said and nudged him a little.

"What was it then?", he asked smirking.

"I guess it was what I needed to hear after all this time.", I said frowning. Newt's playful grin was gone and I could see the concern on his face.

"Well see ya later sucker! Go look after the greenie and Chuck, I'm afraid Chuck will use him to prank Gally again.", I waved him while running towards Minho, so I wouldn't need to listen to Newt's dad manners.

"What's up?"

"How 'bout your boyfriend's little friend.", Minho smiled. I rolled my eyes but I was sure he could see my flushed face. I cleared my throat. I knew I was gonna hear that kind of things for a long time now. Greenies weren't really popular. As a greenie, you had to earn your friends. You needed to prove that you're not just another burden to deal with. Also Minho was just a slinthead.

"Seriously stop being a Mean hoe. Just be nice to him. I think you'll like him."

"Whatever. Have you seen Kyle's map from today?", he asked me while opening the door.

"No. What about it?"

"That shank can't draw. I can't see which section that's suppose to be and you planned it so just figure it out. See, that's what happens when I give you a little authority."

"Shut it shuckface. It's section 7. I wouldn't exactly give him an A in arts but you can read it if you watch properly. "

"Are you saying I have no sense for arts?", he exclaimed insulted with a hand over his heart.

"I'm saying you're a loser and someone should throw ya little ass over the cliff, Mini."

"You know you love my ass."

"What's wrong with you?"

"I don't know, you were a med-jack, tell me.", he said before he licked my ear.

"EW!", I shouted running out of the runner's hut, desperately trying to get rid of Miho. That shank was following me around the whole glade, until it was time for dinner. I completely missed the fact that Chuck and the greenie were watching us, I was busy licking Minho's upper arm.

I noticed more and more gladers standing in front of the homestead. I could make out the builders and Chuck, which meant... Oh shit. Gally would love to cause the new greenie some trouble, like sending him up to Ben, which was strictly forbidden.

"I smell trouble. See ya at dinner!", I told Minho before jogging over to the other builders. I quickly entered and saw Gally and the greenie arguing in front of the staircase.

"You know what? You're right, Tommy—I shouldn't be so mean to Newbies. Go on upstairs and I'm sure Alby and Newt'll fill you in. Seriously, go on. I'm sorry.", I heard Gally say before he patted the greenie's shoulder. Or what was it? 'Tommy'? Curious of the greenbean 's reaction, I remained silent, but ready to stop them from anything stupid.

"What's your name?", 'Tommy' asked with a slightly aggravated voice.

"Gally. And don't let anyone fool you. I'm the real leader here, not the two geezer shanks upstairs or whatever Alexis calls herself to make people listen to her. Me. You can call me Captain Gally if you want.",Gally smiled smugly, showing all of his ugly and partly non-existing teeth.

"Okay. Captain Gally it is then.", he replied exxageratedly before saluting him. I was one of many others who had to laugh. That made Gally even angrier and I knew it as now time for them to stop.

"Just go upstairs! And stay away from me, you little slinthead!", Gally growled.

"That will not be a problem.", I announced and everyone was looking at me now. "Gally, shut your ugly hole and go somewhere where I don't have to see your ugly self. Greenie, you're not going up there unless you want your ass beaten by Alby.", I finished. It was totaly silent until Gally scoffed and left the homestead along with most of the builders.

"I want to talk to that Newt guy.", the dark-haired boy said, making me roll my eyes.

"I'd suggest you wait until he comes down.", I said crossing my arms. He looked at me for a while before making his decision. He walked up the stairs, gaining more confidence per step.

"I'm telling ya this will not end well for you!", I shouted at him. He ignored me but hesitated before opening the door. I could see the look of horror on his face and regretted that I didn't make him stay.

"What're you doing up here greenie?", I heard Alby yell. The greenie muttered his answer but I didn't quite understand him. it didn't matter after all, Alby was furious. _Thomas. His name is Thomas._

I frowned, where did that come from? _You can trust him_. The voice in my head continued, and I had trouble to think straight. The next thing I saw was Thomas stumbling down the stairs. He looked terrified and so confused, it broke my heart. I shrieked when he pulled me and Chuck with him.

"Get me away from these guys.", he pleaded me, his eyes full of terror. "Okay.", I replied calmly before taking his hand to pull him to my favourite tree. It was a calm place.

"Shouldn't we get food?" , Chuck asked us.

"Yeah, um could you get it please? You know Frypan doesn't let me take food today because I already ate his cake."

"Okay, I'll be there in ten minutes!", the chubby boy promised before making his way towards the kitchen in a mood that was a little to good for what just happened.

"Are you alright?", I asked as I urged him to sit since he seemed to be in a kind of trance. He slowly looked up at me and this time he had tears in his eyes. I sighed and sat down next to him. I knew how hard it was. Everyone did. That's why I couldn't understand why everyone was so thrilled to pick on the newbies. They knew what it was like, so why doing it? Payback? They knew it was useless and that he had seen Ben going through the changing was his own fault if I'm being honest.

Sure he wanted answers, but it has a reason that nobody's allowed up there.

"I hate it here. I arrived today and I already want it to end. I wished I could remember something, my family, my friends, my old _life._ ", he shared his thoughts with me.

"I know. I feel the same. But, you'll get used to it.", I replied softly.

"I don't want to get used to it. I want my memories back, I want everyone here to be free. I... Have you seen him? What if that- the changing happens to Chuck one day? Or to you? You can't tell me you're happy here."

"It's better than the shucking maze! You won't get stung unless you're either a slinthead like Gally, or an unlucky runner like Ben. Also... I don't remember what it's like to be happy. I don't know what it's like to have a family and friends...", I argued deep in thought. I often had this argument with myself, it was no surprise.

"I do. And...", he stopped and looked at me briefly before he shook his head.

"What?", I asked him putting my hand over his in order to calm him. "Nothing.", he mumbled but it was obvious that he lied.

"Thomas, you can talk to me. Believe me it's good to have someone around here you can really talk to. What is it?", I asked when his gaze fixed on me.

"I... I just like the way you say my name. It sounds right...", he confessed before he realised what he said and blushed.

"Frypan wasn't too happy about me invading his kitchen before suppertime.", Chuck's voice interrupted us. I hadn't realised how close we were until I backed away.

"He said I should tell you that your new cake burnt Alex.", Chuck continued while sitting down next to Thomas.

"Oh shit! He knew he was suppose to take it out, that shuckface. Later!", I called already on my way to the kitchen. I ignored the feeling of my heart tightening when I left Thomas in such a state alone. Gosh, I barely knew that boy. Except... I had the feeling of knowing him. Like he was someone I knew all my life but I couldn't tell who he was. That never happened to me before.

I knew one thing; shit was gonna go down with this brown-eyed boy in the glade.

clara-smtihs-writing


	4. More Than A Dream

_"Thomas... T- Thomas!"_

 _"No! Let her go! She's not ready! PLEASE!"_

 _I was violently pulled away from the tight hug I shared with my boyfriend and off to the lifts. The two guards didn't seem to mind that they basically had to carry me all the way. Thomas was held back by Teresa and some other boy, I could see the tears in her eyes. Also I could see the fear that he couldn't save me._

 _"Alexis!"_

 _"Thomas! Wait. NO!", I screeched and tried to kick them of but one of the guards hit me on the forehead and everything became black._

"Alexis? Alexis!", a voice yelled but I refused to open my eyes. The same person apparently straddled me to stop me from doing something stupid.

" _Alexis_!"

The way my name was said made me open my eyes in an instant. It was full of pain, fear and something I couldn't quite name. Minho hovered over me, his eyes as wide as mine. When he realised I was now fully awake he got off me but didn't move any further.

"I'm fine.", I immediately reassured him, but my voice broke at the end from being over-used in the night.

"Yeah, right.", he scoffed.

"It was nothing okay?! I just had a nightmare..."

"Screaming at the top of your lungs that we're all gonna die and something about the greenie isn't 'nothing'. Also I thought the nightmares stopped?"

"Yeah well they started again.", I muttered. I let out a a little squeal when Minho suddenly pulled me into a hug that was so tight that I was scared he would break my bones. I put my hands around his neck and hid my face in the crook of his neck. Minho wasn't one to show affection. I mean he was used to me giving him a kiss on the cheek every morning, even if we were both running the same section, I just liked the people I care about to know that I cared about them.

Minho... was different. He had his own way of showing affection but sometimes, even he couldn't help but be in need for cuddles.

"Don't keep secrets from me.", he whispered and I hugged him tighter before letting go of him. I wasn't brave enough to look up into his eyes so instead I played with my fingers.

"They started when Thomas arrived. I... It's the day I was sent here. At least I think it is. It's always the same... I'm hugging him and then these two guys come and bring me to the lift... I don't even know if it's real Minho, it's probably nothing!", I finished shaking my head.

"If it's from you, it probably means a lot.", he insisted while wiping away my tears. I hadn't even realised I was crying.

"You sayin' you love me?", I smiled weakly at him and he grinned before smiling at me fondly.

"You want another day off?"

"No! I don't want anyone to think I'm fragile. Besides, I'm fine. I really am. Promise. Things have been weird since this girl arrived." _Teresa._ I knew she was the same girl as the one in my dream, but I refused to let anyone know. Well, until now. Should I tell Minho? Or maybe Thomas?

"Alright. But if you break down while running I get your sandwich."

"You can have all my sanwiches if I die Mini.", I laughed before getting up.

It didn't take us long to get ready, even if I had to change into something else after Minho shoved me into mud when I kept joking about his precious 'Running Undies'.

We slowly jogged into the direction of the still closed doors. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Thomas and Chuck watching us. I waved at them sligthly and suppresed a frown when the Chuck was the only one to wave back. Maybe Thomas wasn't a morning person? I couldn't know of course that he was musing over why I appeared in his dreams.

"Still crushing on the greenie?", Minho smirked at the short exchange.

"No!", I exclaimed and played with the end of my shorts. I kept my gaze down since I had enough of Minho's knowing smirks. The walls slowly opened and I began to controle my breathing in order to keep running once we were in the maze.

"Oh. I just thought that because he's checking you out right now...", he said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Wait, _what_?", I squeaked and turned to the two sitting gladers. They were now both looking at me due to the fact that I randomly gawked at them with wide eyes.

"I hate you!", I yelled before running after the Asian boy. The rest of the day was pretty ordinary, we didn't talk much since we needed the air. Our lunch was mostly just fooling around. Well the bright mood was destroyed when I turned around the next corner only to stop running immediately, causing Minho to bump into me. I didn't need to explain why I stopped, it was obvious. On the floor, right in front of us, was a griever, but not only that, he was dead. At least, I thought so, it wasn't moving and in a weird position.

"What the...?"

"We need to tell Alby!", I realised before quickly changing my route for the shortest way back to the glade. I heard Minho right behind me. I knew it was a few hours early for us to return but I guess this was what you call an emergency. I didn't allow myself to get lost in my thoughts while running, it would only distract me. I was starting to get exhausted, so I quickly sped up, not wanting to break down in the middle of the shucking maze.

Once we arrived, I let myself falling down to the ground, Minho not too far from me did the same. I knew my face was bright red, I sweated like crazy and i was barely able to breath. I heard my heart pounding loudly, that was probably why I didn't heard Thomas arriving until he stood right in front of me.

"Alexis? You okay? What happened?", he asked while checking me for any kind of injuries.

"I'm fine.", I choked out but he yelled for Alby and Newt anyway. Good. I hadn't enough breath to say anyting else.

"I'm fine too, if anyone cares!", Minho breathed from somewhere next to me. Before we could say anything else, Alby was jogging up to us.

"What are you doin' back here? What happened?"

"Calm your wad, Alby.", I groaned now lying on my back. The air just didn't seem to come back into my lungs and I began to feel dizzy.

"Yeah, Redhead's right. Be useful and bring me some water. I lost my pack at some point back there."

Thomas and I watched as Alby kicked Minho in the leg, too hard to be playful. I hid myself behind Thomas a bit, just in case y'a know.

"What happened?", he repeated upset. I tried to reply but my throat was too dry and I still had problems to catch my breath. Thomas rubbed my back soothingly, making me feel somewhat better.

"Don't you see we can barely talk shuck-face? Get us some water!", Minho demanded. I let out a noise of approval, still too weak to talk.

Thomas was obviously taken aback by the way we talked to Alby. I wasn't sure if it was the lack of oxygene I had, but Thomas looked pretty good from my view down here.

"These two are the only shanks who can talk to me like that without getting their butts kicked off the Cliff.", I heard Alby say before he ran off, hopefully to get us some water.

"He let you boss him around?", Thomas asked and helped me up into a sitting position, only to watch me fall back to the ground anyway. Minho obviously decided to play cool, while shrugging and swiping the sweat away he answered; "You scared of that pip-squeak? Dude, you got a lot to learn. Glad you got a girlfriend to teach you everything."

"Shut up shuckface.", I breathed and made a lazy attempt to kick him but he easily dodged my attack.

"Or you can teach her if that's what you're into.", Minho continued, now getting lightly kicked by Thomas, which made Minho curl up like a baby and mutter about nobody loving him.

"Isn't he the leader?", Thomas continued questioning, acting as if this little despute never happened.

"Leader? Yeah, call him leader all you want. Maybe we should call him El Presidente. Nah, nah—Admiral Alby. There you go." He rubbed his eyes, snickering as he did so. I once again asked myself why I was friends with this little prick while going after my own thoughts...

I curiously examined the sleeping girl in front of me. She was really beautiful, and I meant beautiful, more than just pretty or nice to look at. She was a little more tanned than me, had silky black hair and a nicely curved body. I felt a strong pull towards her, like we were friends. That was ridiculous of course, we probably never met.

"You sure you're alright?", I heard Thomas ask, for the 11th time today. I sighed before turning to face the taller boy. Okay he was more than just taller. Like a giant. I barely even reached his shoulder.

"Yes Thomas, I'm perfectly fine.", I snapped before rushing out of the room. I walked towards my favourite tree in the deadheads, trying to clear my thoughts.

I couldn't stop him from following me of course. He was right at my feet, not letting me go somewhere alone. He even caught me when I tripped once.

"Okay, what's it with the guarding Tom?", I asked, finally having enough. He opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out. I huffed and sat down at my destination, he quickly mimicked my action. It was silent for a few moments before he decided to talk.

"If Ben attacked me for no reason, I don't want him to attack anyone else, especialley not you. I feel as if I have to protect you, you know? I can't let anything happen to you."

I couldn't help but smile at him. How could he be adorable in so many ways? He hadn't noticed my reaction since he was busy burying a stick in the ground.

"What?", he said finally noticing me. My smile grew even wider and I practically threw myself at him. The confused boy returned the hug quickly, embracing me into his warmth.

"I should be the worried one you know. Ben attacked you after all."

"Are you worried?", he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper over my ear.

"Yes.", I whispered back. He pulled back but I wasn't ready yet to let him go. Not bothered by my need for affection he simply pulled me into his lap, letting me rest my head on his chest and play with our intertwined hands.

"Can I tell you something?", I asked calmly. I knew my voice sounded thin and full of worry, that was probably why he tightened his grip on me.

"Of course.", he mumbled into my hair. I took a deep breath. I knew we shouldn't be that close after the short amount of knowing each other, but to us, it wasn't weird at all. It felt... right.

"I keep having these... dreams. I'm not sure if it's just a nightmare or something else, like a..."

"Memory?", he finished and I hummed quietly.

"I get dragged away by these guys, on my way into the glade. And you're there too, and this girl, but in my dream she's called Teresa. I... It's probably nothing but... I keep having this dream ever since you arrived and I don't know what to do because I always wake up screaming a-and it begins to get too much to handle-", I explained, my voice gaining more volume and panic per word.

"Shh. It's okay. It's probably just a bad dream.", he calmed me down and I nodded quickly. I was facing him now, looking up into those really, beautiful brown eyes... His lips brushed mine, but before we could connect them again, we were interrupted. Chuck was yelling for Thomas, but he stopped when he saw us in such an intimate position. I blushed, but Thomas didn't losen his grip around my waist, and to be honest, I didn't mind.

"What is it Chuck?", Thomas asked, and I held back a giggle at the frustrated tone Thomas used.

"Ben...Ben... isn't dead.", Chuck panted.

"What?", I gulped, quickly getting up.

"He ... isn't dead. Baggers went to get him ... arrow missed his brain ... Med-jacks patched him up."

"You gotta be kidding... He isn't dead?", Thomas muttered, looking at the place where the previous runner had attacked him.

"Well, So did I.", Chuck said. "He's locked up in the Slammer, a huge bandage covering half his head."

"Is he being banished?", I suddenly asked, squeezing Thomas's hand that never let go of mine.

"Yes... Tonight."

"I'm sorry... I have to-", I didn't finish before I ran off to find answers.

Silent tears ran down my face as I watched Ben being pushed out into the maze by force. I hugged myself since Minho and Newt were obviously busy. I could see the guilt on their face, the pure sadness and terror they tried to hide so hard, even on Alby's face. I felt Thomas gaze on me, but this time I didn't look up. I didn't dare too. I knew it wasn't his fault, I knew it was once again, the fault of the crazy creators, but I couldn't quite decide how to act about it.

The walls were nearly closed as the Keepers gave Ben a final shove and Eddy quickly removed the collar before the walls closed, cutting of Ben's desperate screams.

I didn't bother to react when Newt put his arms around me, shielding me away from the murmurs of the other gladers...

clara-smiths-writing


	5. Shuckin' Grievers

"What, don't like seein' my face first thing on the wake-up?", I heard Newt ask as I walked over to him and Thomas.

"Can't blame him.", I yelled and winked at Newt who was now rolling his eyes.

"Watcha doing here?"

"Well, hello to you too my dear. I was gonna say bye before I head out with Alby and Minho but since you're busy being a dick...", I huffed dramatically. But I wasn't saying the truth. Sure, I alway said goodbye, but the real reason was the maze, or more like the grievers. The walls should be open by now, which meant... Ben's collar. If I wanted to function today, I couldn't possibly face it.

"Yeah, yeah whatever.", Newt muttered but he still smiled when I kissed his cheek.

"And of course, my favourite glader!", I winked at Thomas who immediately blushed. I hugged him and kissed his cheek, hopefully without looking too comfortable. Was I imagining things or did he actually consider not letting me go?

"Be careful out there."

"Worrying about me?"

"Course.", he mumbled. I smiled up at him but he was too shy to meet my gaze. I shook my head softly and kissed his cheek again, his face was tomato red by now. Newt watched all this with crossed arms and a big smile on his feauters.

"Okay then, see you.", I grinned already jogging back but still facing them. I knew I smiled like a lovesick puppy on my way back to Minho but I couldn't help it. I didn't know why, but every time I was around Thomas, I did not only feel incredibly safe (Which was super rare) but also very happy. It was the kind of feeling I couldn't describe.

"RUN!", Minho shouted and pulled me with him but did my best to stay at the exact same spot. Minho had panic and sweat written all over his face.

"We have to help Alby!", I screeched and refused to let me pick up by Minho who was having none of my shit.

"He can run for himself, remember?"

"He got shuckin' stung Minho, do something!", I replied angrily but I stopped when I saw Alby joining our little group. That shuckin' griever had played dead pretty well. Minho and I immediately bolted away, but Alby was too slow, too deep in thoughts while he examined the buggin' Griever. We ran silently in a row, too scared to talk. Even without communicating, we all noticed that Alby was getting more and more exhausted. Minho had to shout the instructions now, because I was supporting Alby, and didn't concentrate on the maze.

It was getting dark. I knew we wouldn't make it. Minho and I did our best to keep the fastest pace up, but there was no deny that Alby was very sick, and of course slowing us down. I knew we only had seconds left when we were about to turn into the last corner when the walls started to close.

"They got him!", Minho yelled and his voice was strangled and full of exhaustion. We were dragging Alby across the floor by now. I knew that if a few more Gladers would now quickly help us to carry Alby we would make it, but nobody was allowed in the maze but the runners, and today, it was only me and Minho, since Alby said the griever was our main concern.

My eyes linked with Thomas'. I could see him shouting something, but I didn't know what he said, not even to who. I was dehydrated and weak, so was Minho, not to mention Alby's condition. Minho and I linked eyes briefly, he nodded, the silent agreement to try getting Alby back on his feet. We failed miserably. I let out a desperate noise, I didn't know as what it counted. We moved faster again when we carried him, but we were still a hundred feet away. We wouldn't make it in time. I felt tears mixing up with the sweat in my face, I didn't want to die. Not yet, not like this. Not in this shucking maze.

A sob escaped my mouth. My whole body hurt and I felt dirty and exhausted. We were gonna die in the maze. I was gonna die tonight. I closed my eyes when the walls were only centimetres away from each other. I stopped dragging. Minho let out a groan at the sudden weight that overcame him. I heard another muffled yell and when I looked up, I saw Thomas squeezing himself through the walls before they shut completely.

I couldn't take it anymore. We were trapped. Dying. Tonight. I let out another sob and broke down on the floor on the left of Alby's side. I couldn't see what Minho and Thomas did but I didn't care either. We would die.

" Greenie," Minho said, "if you think that was brave comin' out here, listen up. You're the shuckiest shuck-faced shuck there ever was. You're as good as dead, just like us.", he said. Apparently he still stood but he sounded as weak as I felt. I flinched when I felt someone putting his arms around me. I recognised Thomas on his smell and immediately put my arms around him while I hid my face in his chest. It gave me so much comfort. Sure, it didn't change anything about the hopeless situation but god, he gave me so much comfort.

" I couldn't just sit there and leave you guys out here .", Thomas replied and I squeezed my eyes shut tighter as I felt the vibration in his chest, As cheesy as it sounded, he was my tower of strength. I let out a little whimper and he didn't hesitate to pull me even close and tighten his grip. Thomas began to stroke my hair and I slowly felt my power returning to me.

"And what good are you with us?Whatever, dude. Break the Number One Rule, kill yourself, whatever.", Minho snapped.

"Shut up. He was trying to help us.", I interrupted the two. I heard Minho snicker bitterly and I knew he was now at his worst point. His defense in danger was, next to running of course, being incredibly bitter and sarcastic. There was a reason my nickname for him was Mean-Hoe.

"Sorry couldn't hear you over the sound of how cuddled up you're with your boyfriend. Shall I leave you guys alone? Although I believe you'll have some visitors later. But who knows, they might even cheer you on-

"Stop it!", I cried out. I got up now and balled my hands to fists. If I was to die tonight, I wouldn't give up without fighting, and Minho's bitchiness wouldn't stop me from protecting him, from protecting all of us.

"Do you think this is funny?! Can't you see what's happening? Just fucking THINK for a minute! We have no time for your sarcasm Minho okay? Alby is dying right now and you have seriously nothing better to do than joke about Thomas and me?", I ranted. I fell back on my knees, right next to Alby. I felt Thomas' eyes one me but I didn't look at him. I examined Alby, and damn he looked bad. His skin was more grey than dark, and he was barely breathing. I felt someone's hand slip into mine and surprisingly it was Minho. He didn't say anything but I knew it was his way of saying sorry and I should be dommed if I didn't forgive him. It was silent for a few moments before Thomas spoke up.

"What happened?"

"Don't wanna talk about it.", Minho snapped and checked on Alby. Thomas looked down at me and I sighed.

"Let's just say the Grievers can play dead really well."

"So he was bitten? Stung, whatever. Is he going through the Changing?", he continued to ask.

"Yeah he got stung. That is if he survies it.", I muttered.

"So he's going to die?"

"Since we didn't make it back before sunset, probably. Could be dead in an hour—I don't know how long it takes if you don't get the Serum. Course, we'll be dead, too, so don't get all weepy for him. Yep, we'll all be nice and dead soon."

Thomas apparently had problems with accepting his fate. He stood there and looked at us dumbfounded.

"We're really going to die?", he asked and turned to me. "You're telling me we have no chance?"

I opened my mouth to reply but honestly, I had no idea what to say. My head was currently searching for _any_ kind of solution, but it seemed hopeless.

"None.", Minho shot back instead.

"Oh, come on—there has to be something we can do. How many Grievers'll come at us?"

"I-I don't know why does it matter? Thomas, we've never seen what happens when someone does not get the serum on time. And since nobody ever survived a night in this shuckin' maze with the shuckin' Grivers we don't exactly have a group of adventurer back there.", I hissed. I knew it was mean but how many questions did that boy even have? He looked at me as if he wasn't sure where to put my bitchy reply.

"But I thought the Grievers only came out at night.", he quizzed and I shot him a glare that could kill.

"Then you were wrong, shank. They always come out at night. That doesn't mean they never show up during the day."

"Has anyone ever been caught outside the walls at night and lived through it?"

"Never."

"How many have died then?"

"At least twelve.", I answered. "Haven't you been to the graveyard?"

"Yeah."

"Well, those are just the ones we found. There are more whose bodies never showed up.", I explained lost in thought.

"That freaking graveyard's back in the woods for a reason. Nothing kills happy time more than being reminded of your slaughtered friends every day.", Minho admitted. He then hold grip off Alby's arms and motioned me to help him.

"Grab those smelly suckers. We gotta carry him over to the Door. Give 'em one body that's easy to find in the morning."

I sighed and tried to lift Alby's feet. He was kinda lighter a few minutes ago. Was Minho even taking any of his weight? I knew of course that I was now way weaker and more exhausted than before.

"Tom, a little help?", I choked out. Said boy still had problems with his future.

"How can this be happening?!", he shouted angrily and desperate. A part of me still wanted to punch him really hard for following us; there was still the 99% chance that we'd die tonight, while the other part just wanted to lay in his arms and curse about WCKD.

"Quit your crying. You should've followed the rules and stayed inside. Now come on, grab his legs."

This was gonna be a long night, with no chance of surviving.

"C'mon!", Minho commanded as I freed myself of his death-grip. I let out a lout scream as I began to punch Minho in the chest.

"You- just- fucking- let- him - alone - to die!?"

He looked at me with a mixed expression before he shook his head. Then, he slowly turned and ran away, letting me stand there in the dark, in the middle of the maze.

Silent tears fell down my cheek as I tried to remind myself of the way back to Thomas and Alby. It was hard to think of the different patterns and corners when you were in the dark, scared for your life and just left alone by your best friend.

I reached the place near the walls where we had talked for too long, but I couldn't see him. I gasped when I recognised Alby hanging inbetween the thick ropes. Thomas. A new wave of affection for the brown-eyed boy overcame me. When I heard the horrible noises of an approaching griever, I froze. What should I do? And why the hell did I feel so terribly watched? It would be stupid to call for Thomas, even though he had to be close since Alby hang, good thirty feet over the ground.

The metallic clack, louder and louder next to my rising heart beat was nearly unbearable. The screeching, the terrible, monstrous sounds the griever made on its way towards me. I'm gonna die. No. Not like that. I finally snapped out of my daze and began sprinting towards the next corner. I took another turning, and another, until I was at full speed. My muscles ached and I had to hold back groans, but I was far from stopping. At the next turning, I bit my lip and jumped, starting a desperate attempt to grip on one of the silver ropes. I felt the skin on my hand rip open and let out a little cry of pain but never stopped climbing.

I only stopped when I couldn't quite see a rock on the ground anymore. I couldn't hear the Griever anymore. Was he gone? Did he already kill one of my friends and was happy with his prey? I shuddered at the thought. After what seemed like forever, I decided to move, I had to find at least one of them. I jumped down and squeezed my eyes shut at the hollow pain in my bones. I ran back the first turn, but then kept going straight ahead. I turned right twice and just when I wanted to turn right again someone gripped me. I wanted to scream but someone put a hand over my mouth. I was picked up like I weighed nothing and pulled against a body who leaned against a wall. Thomas. I inhaled and exhaled deeply.

"It's me okay? Griever's close.", was everything he whispered into my ear. I nodded and shivered. He slowly took his hand from my mouth and put it over my shoulders to keep me even closer. Since I was getting cold, I began to shiver. His other hand on my waist tightened when he felt my movement.

"I'm sorry.", I wishpered. I nearly let out a squeal when the warm sensation hit me, Thomas began rubbbing my shoulders and arms to keep me warm. Adorable motherfucker.

"You guys comin' or what?", as passing Minho asked, never stopping to run. Thomas and I exchanged looks before we started running.

clara-smiths-writing


	6. Awakening

_"Mum! Dad!", I screeched as the two strangers picked me up since I refused to go with them. Some organization called WCKD claimed that I would be needed to save what still existed from this world. How could I be a help? I f they are good, why are they kidnapping me?_

 _"It's okay honey.", my dad smiled and tried to comfort my mother, who was unable to speak of crying. I struggled to get free, kicking around me and desperately trying to get rid of the tight grip they had on me. As I managed to get one arm free after ramming my elbow into his throat he pulled out his gun._

 _"NO! Let her go! She's not ready!", my mum cried and pushed them away to hug me. I cried into her shoulder. I did not understand what was going on, nor why they couldn't just leave us alone. Suddenly I heart a shot and felt my mum stiffen against me. The hug we shared found a sudden end as she fell to the floor, pulling me with her._

 _"Mum? Mum! "_

 _She squeezed my hand tightly and gave me one last smile before her eyes lost the familiar spark that made me admire them so much. She no longer squeezed my hand and after a while it slipped out of hers._

 _"Mum! NO! MUM WAKE UP! PLEASE!", I cried but the two WCKD guards brutally pulled me away. There was no way I could get free. They had me. They would do to me whatever they wanted, just continue with their plan after they shot my mum._

 _"NOO! LET ME GO! MUM! DAD, HELP ME!", I bellowed. My dad watched us as I got carried away, out of our house. He had an unfamiliar coldness in his eyes, he seemed somewhat detatched from the whole situation. I whimpered as I felt someone inject me something and I slowly drifted away..._

"It's not real. It's just a nightmare. You're safe now, I promise.", Thomas whispered calmingly into my ear as he rocked us back and forth after I told him what I had been through last night. After the whole Griever-incident my nightmares had gotten worse. Every night there was another horrible dream, but it felt so real...

Thomas kept telling me that it was nothing but a bad dream, that I didn't need to worry about it, and yet I grew tired of his explanations. Whenever I told him about a new horrible memory, he told me the same. I began to doubt that. I didn't know when exactly I started referring to them as a memory, but I felt right. However weird they might seem, something told me they were real. Why had Thomas such a hard time with believing me? Maybe I was crazy for insisting that my nightmares were memories. But was it better to just keep running around without any hope of actually getting out of here? I didn't think so.

"I think it's time for training.", I announced and got up. I actually sounded colder than I intended to, but something about him drove me crazy in the last few days. I still felt so much sympathy for him; the way he treated Chuck, no matter in what mood he was, the way he always tried to be there for me even though he was failing miserably, the way he never lost the hope to escape this shucking place. It all made me feel something for him, the feeling I used to think only people in love felt. But it couldn't be. Not when I felt like he was lying to me the whole time. People in love don't do that, at least not in my imagination.

"Are you alright? If you want me to I'll tell Minho that we defer the training and I can stay with you-"

"No. I'm okay just go. Thank you.", I responded quickly and kissed his cheek before leaving him alone in my room, sitting on the ground. I felt horrible for treating him that way, but the feeling to be lied to was even worse. I was glad that I had a day off, I didn't feel like spending it with Minho and Thomas.

It all began after we were back in the glade, after our near-death experience in the maze. I was so anxious about the gathering, I wasn't allowed to join them since I wasn't a keeper. Also I would've been kind of subjective, as Newt explained to me. I didn't understand how they could even think about punishing him. We probably wouldn't have made it without him, Alby sure as hell wouldn't. I even spent my day with sitting next to the slammer, just because I knew Thomas would be bored and needed someone to talk. But something had changed. It felt like he kept secrets from me. Like about the girl, Teresa. She was familiar to me, due to the memories in which she played a not to unimportant role. As far as I knew, Teresa was my friend, our friend. But Thomas told me that he had never seen her before. But you didn't think or talk about someone you didn't know the way Thomas talked about Teresa. Something was going on, next to the whole maze thing of course, and Thomas refused to tell me.

The mood in the glade was just as bright as the sky, not at all. I woke up alone, the first time in weeks. I had told Thomas to leave me alone for once, again, more bitchy than intended. He really did not understand why I was angry at him, which made me even more furious. Why did he keep things from me? Did he not trust me? All this time he's been here, I've told him everything, things I didn't even tell Minho. And yet here he was, not once sharing his thoughts with me.

Newt asked me to stay for today, helping him with calming down the gladers. Like I said, I was glad to not spend the day with my two of my best friends. I helped in everything I could, the kitchen, the gardens, and actually every other shucking place there was. Alby told me to come with him and Newt, talking to Minho and Thomas. I nodded without any kind of excitement. It was weird how a boy could affect me in such a way. Even though I tried to reassure myself that it was the maze and the dark grey sky, but in reality, that was only the tip of the iceberg. We approached them rigth after they left the map room, since Alby was not a fan of waiting.

I saw Thomas excitement fade once he saw our expressions, and a part of me felt bad for him. The same part that wanted to hug him and let him tell me how his first mapping went, but that part was quickly forgotten. Instead I thought of all the secrets he kept from me, and anger welled up inside me.

"Hey, we were just-"

"Get on with it. Ain't got time to waste. Find anything? Anything?", Alby demanded. Alby had never been the cheery kind of person, understandable in our situation, but even for him this kind of behaviour was unusual.

"Nice to see you too. Yeah, we did find something actually.", Minho replied more confused than hurt or angry.

"Cuz this whole shuck place is fallin' to pieces.", Alby complained and shot Thomas a glare that could make you think everything was his fault. The soft part of me wanted to take Thomas' hand and tell Alby to shut the fuck up, but I remained silent and exchanged looks with Minho.

"What do you mean? What happened?", he asked.

"Bloody supplies didn't come up today.", I explained with a sigh.

"Come every week for two years, same time, same day. But not today.", Newt continued for me. I avoided Thomas' glance, even though I knew he wanted me to look at him. I was silent for the rest of the conversation, trying to think of anything helpful. I frowned at the shouts and a group of gladers that had gathered together. Without thinking I ran towards them, the others close behind me.

"What's going on?", I quizzed and looked at Chuck who had a face full of excitement. He looked up at me with his wide face before answering.

"She's awake. The girl's awake!"

I saw Thomas stiffen next to me, and as I looked up I saw a frown and confusion on his face. Newt decided to talk to her first, no one argued with him. He offered me to come with him since I apparently was 'y'know, also a bloody girl' but I shook my head before I pushed through the crowd to find a silent place, somewhere where I could clear my head. I huffed as I saw Thomas already sitting at my favourite place, a blanket wrapped around him. 'Don't think about how adorable he looks, do not think about it!', I told myself but I failed.

"Why are you angry at me?", he asked and looked up. At this moment I just wanted to throw myself at him, I couldn't bear the hurt look in his eyes, or his voice that showed no sign of happiness.

"Why are you keeping things from me?", I shot back and crossed my arms. He looked at me for a while without replying, but then he just opened his arms. I could've just stormed away, leaving him alone, confused and embarrassed but I couldn't do that, not to him. I found myself in his lap along with a blanket and his arms around me.

"You need to trust me.", he muttered quietly. I did not say anything. My voice would've been weak and I didn't even know what to reply. He basically admitted that he had been lying, but in all this time and with everything he had done, why should I not trust him? But more importantly, was there a reason for him to not trust me?


	7. Prove It

Fear. The only times I've felt so scared before were when I came up in the box and the night I was stuck in the maze. But now the fear became my second shadow, ever since the sky was colourless, ever since the walls wouldn't close, ever since Teresa came up here. I couldn't even really say if I thought it was her fault or not. I do remember that she was my friend, I still feel the pull for her, the feeling of being around a very good friend, and yet, she made me angry.

Maybe it was the fact that she talked so carelessly about the glade being destroyed, the fact that she openly admitted that it was her fault and she didn't neccessarily care, it made my blood boil, and I could tell Alby felt the same. Whatever kind of connection we might have had before this all happened, at the moment I felt anything but sympathy for her. The Glade, my home. The gladers, my family. Who was she to decide that everything would change and that we all should just follow her. And maybe it made me a teeny, tiny bit angry that she seemed to spend most of her time with Thomas. Scratch that, she did spent all her time with him. I even felt like they were communicating while I was in the same room and they weren't even talking. This sure wasn't heartbreak, but I felt pretty bad anyway. Thomas now apparently had no reason to talk to me longer than neccessary, that is, when Teresa doesn't need his help.

The worst thing was, I couldn't even tell anyone about this. Okay, I knew it was nobody's job to listen to my problems, but with everything that was happening, I could really use a good friend. One that wasn't second-in-command, or one that made me not confused about my feels with just a direct glance or a little smile. And Minho? Well let's just say, after all this time it's my turn to be there for him. I realised that now, even if it took me some time. Why was everything so complicated? I helped the other gladers to build a barrier to keep the grievers out. Even though everyone who looked at our work knew that this wouldn't even stop me if I tried to run through it.

"Alexis!", a too familiar voice shouted as I was about to step toward Newt, talking to him about the sleep arrangements. I waited as Thomas made his way to me in a slight jog, trying to block out that my heart beat sped up whenever I saw him. I did not flash him a smile like I usually did. There was no reason to smile.

"What do you need Thomas?", I asked and was surprised by my own cold voice. It wasn't suppose to sound like that, all distant and mean, but for some reason I didn't care what my voice sounded like to him. Thomas was my friend and nothing more. Someone that wanted more would've made a move by now wouldn't he? And it's not like I'd have time for shit like that. Why didn't he just go to Teresa? It seemed like he felt best around her.

"Help me persuading Newt so he will let Teresa go?", he asked and fiddled with his hands, unsure of what to do with them. I bit back a scoff and nodded, silently making my way towards Newt with him. The bitterness I felt was just another painful thing in my heart. What did we do so wrong to deserve this? What kind of sick people would just lock us in here?

"Are you alright?"

I looked up at him with the kind of 'Are-you-fucking-kidding-me'-glance and Thomas actually smiled a little. He put an arm around me, an easy way to stop me from walking, and for the first time in god knows how many days, we hugged.

"It's just, ever since, well ever since this all began, I feel like you're not looking after yourself. Don't get me wrong, you help everyone with everything and that's great but, I mean when was the last time you slept or ate?", he asked and again, I felt insecure under his gaze.

"I'm okay.", I responded simply and now it was his turn with the 'you're kidding'-glance. Why were we in this kind of situation? What has changed?

"You know what? Actually you go talk to Newt and I'll wait with Teresa. I feel like we haven't been talking really.", I smiled. He gave me a surprised but friendly look and walked away. What the hell am I doing? I did really not want to talk to Teresa, so why was I walking towards the Slammer? Where did this thought even come from? Maybe you didn't even need to get stung to become crazy.

"Through thoughts."

"I'm sorry?"

"We can communicate, but without actually talking. Imagine, imagine you think something, and you want someone to know, and this person can actually hear you. It's a bit like that."

"And I'm suppose to believe that?", I asked with crossed arms.

"Yes. I have no reason to lie to you. You're my friend.", Teresa said with sincere eyes. I cursed myself for subconsciously giving in to her big blue eyes and the friendly smile.

"Fine. Anything else you guys are hiding from me?", I joked half-heartedly.

"Well, I'm not sure when Thomas will finally tell you that he does know me and that he believes that your nightmares are actually memories. Even though I'm not quite sure, if he will."

"How do you know about that? That was private, I- I..."

Well what? Thomas did not only tell Teresa, who he, by the way, pretended not to know, but also my worst fears that I told him, and only him, he also was lying to me. I knew he did. He kind of admitted it already, but hearing it like this was like getting hit in the face. I thought Thomas cared about me. I thought he would actually be honest with me for once, I thought I was safe with trusting him. Wrong.

"Is that what it is about? Are you jealous?"

"You know I was actually about to like you.", I huffed and turned to leave.

"'Cause you have no reason to. Thomas is my friend. And you are much more to him. He has his reasons for telling and not-telling you things, and I suggest you talk to him if you want to find out. But I'd be even more delighted if I could finally have my friend back. Because you're way more adorable laughing about some stupid joke Thomas made."

I was speechless. I had nothing on my mind and yet so many thoughts, so many that it felt like my head would burst into two.

"Thank you.", I said whispered with a soft smile before turning around. Was I crying? Oh god. I could tell you what else I was. Hurt. Angry. Sad. Betrayed. And all that because of a certain glader. With all that feelings, I watched as Thomas was on his way to me, without a clue of what I knew.

"Hey, what's-", Thomas couldn't finish his sentence, because I slapped him before he could. Right across his cheek. And boy did it feel good. He looked at me with a mixture of fear, confusion and anger, feelings that I knew to well, because of him.

"You're a liar Thomas.", I said with a shaky voice. I didn't even care that I was crying right now. "I trusted you. You were the person I cared about most, you were-", I stopped when my voice cracked, not able to contain my sobs. A few weeks ago I had been happy. And now it would be a nice change if I'd just die.

"Alexis, listen to me, I know you're upset, but I have a reason for not telling you okay? I am so sorry that I make you feel like this, believe me I did all this because..."

"Because what? Because you didn't think I could handle the truth? Seriously? And communicating through thoughts, I bet you had a reason for not telling me that too?! Do you even know what it is like to keep all these things inside you? Fears, Hopes, basically all your goddamn feelings and then, you think you found someone you could trust, someone that was just so important to you, and then you find out said person doens't give a crap about you. "

"That's no true. Alexis I care about you way more than you think. Please, it's the truth-"

"I don't know what the truth is anymore Thomas! How can I know that not everything you ever said to me is a big fat lie?!", I yelled and at this point I was ready to slap him again.

That was, until he smashed his lips into mine. The kiss was unexpected, full of the emotions we tried to controle so hard. The way his soft lips moved against mine felt like heaven, the way he pulled me closer by my waist made me feel so safe, but how could I enjoy all this with a boy that didn't even care about me? Confused, and still hurt I pulled back, even if my whole body wanted me to continue.

"Alexis I lied because I wanted to protect you! Do you think I could bear it if anything happens to you? And if it reassures me that you're save, I could even let you hate me. But never think that I wouldn't care about you because I don't know any other person I've ever loved that much."

"Prove it.", I cried with a thin and broken voice, "Prove it and we might be able to fix all this. Prove it to me."


	8. Shut Up (Part 1)

**I'm sorry this is so short...**

"What do you mean 'The maze is a code'?"

"I don't know I can't remember."

"You can't- okay.", I sighed and rubbed the pinch between my eyebrows. Teresa and I were trying to have a decent conversation while Thomas was off to get Minho and Newt but obviously it wasn't working.

"Why can't you just be yourself again?", Teresa asked, sounding surprisingly frustrated.

"I'm sorry? We're in a bit of a crisis if you haven't noticed!", I snapped and crossed my arms. _And you so fancy the guy I fancy._ But I didn't say that out loud. She seemd to know anyway.

"Tell me if you're not a jealous bitch again because I miss my friend."

"Like excuse me for not remembering you after my memories were deleted! And don't you dare just assuming things about me because you have _no_ idea what I'm feeling!", I yelled. I didn't even know what I was feeling... We were in a difficult situation, something like crushes and jealousy wasn't really approppriate.

"I'm sorry. I forgot that you always refuse to acknowledge your feelings."

"Oh as if you couldn't see that.", I muttered just as the others walked in. I knew it was stupid to constantly be on the edge, but with all my worries I couldn't help it. I felt bad for yelling at someone who clearly meant something for me, but then again, I was kind of yelling at everyone lately.

"Let her out, and then we'll talk. Trust me-you wanna hear it. ", Thomas said sounding very convinced. I kept forgetting how firm he could sound, maybe because he never dared to talk to me in such a way.

"Tommy, this is...", Newt started but this time I cut him off.

"Please, just open it- let her out. Please.", Thomas pleaded and I practically rolled my eyes. Newt was the one who kept telling us about how important it was to stick together, and now he refused to let Teresa out of her cage. I ignored the bitchy part of me that enjoyed seeing her in such a situation after she had done nothing but dragging me down. _Like it's her fault._

"How can we trust her? Soon as she woke up, the whole place fell to pieces. She even admitted she triggered something.", Minho replied in an accusingly tone.

"She knows things we don't know. Useful information apparently and if she's ready to share that information with us we might have a bigger chance of surviving. And last time I checked that was what we wanted. Also, she was sent here like the rest of us, it's stupid to think she's responsible for all of that shit that happens right now.", I spoke up.

It was silent for a few seconds while my words sunk in. Thomas gave me a grateful smile which I did only response to with a nod. Minho's expression was unreadable but his eyes stayed on mine for a long time. Newt said nothing but I couldn't see his face that was hidden in shadows.

"Fine. Just let the stupid girl out.", Minho sighed and turned to Newt.

"I'm not stupid! And I can hear every word you morons are saying!", Teresa shouted, her voice muffled by the wall. At that moment a tiny spark of affection welled up in me but I quickly stifled it. Someone would give me a reason sooner or later.

"Real sweet girl you picked up Tommy.", Newt said with wide eyes. I bit my tongue and tried not to show how much these words bothered me. This is not the time nor the place to be jealous. And yet my chest tightened and I clenched my teeth.

"Just hurry. I'm sure we have a lot to do before the Grievers come back tonight-if they don't come during the day."

Newt sighed before he walked towards the door and unlocked it. With a monotone 'Come on' he stepped aside to let Teresa out. She walked out of the Slammer while glaring at both, Newt and Minho. She completely ignored me as she stood right next to Thomas. Yeah, right and I was the jealous bitch?


	9. Shut Up (2)

**So here's part 2 of 'Shut Up' sorry for the long wait**

"Well?", I asked, very aware of the fact that I did in fact sound a little jealous..."I don't know about this special information so we'd be so very pleased if you could share it with us. Whenever you're ready.", I rolled my eyes at Teresa's glare and crossed my arms. I didn't dare to lock eyes with anyone but her.

Teresa looked at Thomas, obviously waiting for him to say something. The tension in the room was almost too much to handle. Minho glared at the wall behind me, Newt bit his lip deep in thought, and Thomas had his signature face of confusion on display. And then there was Teresa. I wasn't sure why I disliked her so much, with an erased memory it was actually very much possible that she used to be my friend. I knew, in some other scenario, in any other scenario, we might be friends but sadly we were here, and there wasn't much we could do about it.

"You talk - They obviously think I'm a serial killer."

"Yeah you look _so_ dangerous.", I snorted, a remark that would've been rude enough in a whisper, but completely disrespectful in the loud tone I used. The words had left my mouth and I regretted them immediately. Even though I was a naturally snarky and sarcastic person, I liked to think of myself as a girl that could be nice.

"Oh yeah? Your little doll face along with your fairy tail hair isn't exactly giving me the chills either.", she snapped, and to our own surprise, we were grinning at each other just a split second later.

"Always here for styling tips sweetie.", I winked and she rolled her eyes again, this time with an obvious smirk.

"Uh, could we like concentrate on the problem here?", Newt asked nearly astonished to the fact how easily we could avoid the most important topic.

"Okay, when Teresa was first coming out of her deep sleep, she had memories flashing through her mind. She, um" - I narrowed my head at him, he looked like he nearly spilled out his little mind trick, not a good idea if you asked me - "she told me later that she remembers that the Maze is a code. That maybe instead of solving it to find a way out, it's trying to send us a message."

I immediately spaced out at Thomas' words, drifting into my own theories and assumptions. It actually was logical to think that the Maze is suppose to be some kind of code, but how on earth were we suppose to figure it out? And more importantly, why the _fuck_ would any sane person lock teenagers inside a maze to figure out some message? I directed my attention back to the conversation just in time to hear Thomas hoping that we could remember at least a few of the maps. Minho, Newt and I exchanged glances before they nodded at me.

"Want me to lighten up your day Tom?", I asked and wiggled my eyebrows with a hand on his shoulder. Thomas stuttered, looking down at my hand with wide eyes, probably thinking about an entirely different kind of day, not that I complained. What could be so wrong about enjoying Thomas' pink cheeks and flustered face.

"Keep your cool shuckface I'm talking about the maps. Some of us amazing people might've made sure they're safe?", I said and winked at Newt who, just like everyone seemed to right now, roll his eyes.

"Huh?", the lean boy asked with a questionmark all over his face. Sometimes I wondered how I could fall for such trash.

"We hid the maps shank."

"They're all safe and sound," Minho said. "Every last one of those suckers. So if you have a theory, get talking."

"Take me to them."

"Okay, let's go."

It had a kind of finality, packing things for the run. Although it had become routine a long time ago, getting food from Frypan, changing into fitting clothes, not talking too much to dave breath. Unease spread through me when the thought occured, that this could be the last time I was going through the routine. Yes, of course I wanted to get out of here, but who said whatever was outside was better than what we had in here? What if there was a reason for locking us in a maze? _Should be one hell of a reason though._

I wondered how far Newt and Teresa had come with the maps, the constant feeling of missing something important was nibbling on my insides, but I couldn't do much anyway. After organizing the run of the others, Minho, Thomas and I stretched in silence, not that any of us would've known what to say. However I did not expect Chuck to come over, with an expression that clearly showed sadness. Chuck was my friend, and if a friend said goodbye to you with that kind of face, you'd be genuinely concerned. It was like I only just realised how much we were risking right now. The peace we had in the glade had always been unsteady, but now it completely vanished.

"I'd go with you," the young boy said in a far too happy voice, "but I don't wanna die a gruesome death.", he grinned.

I didn't notice how Minho reacted, but Thomas was laughing, surprising both of us. "Thanks for the words of encouragement."

I, on the other hand wasn't up for joking right now. To the contrary, I even felt tears burning in my eyes, something I had felt far too often since I woke up in the glade. Who would've thought I'd cry because of leaving this place? But when I looked down at the chubby little boy in front of me, I knew why. This was my home, my family.

I felt so sorry for Chuck, growing up in those circumstances. Teenage boys weren't quite the best parents, there was no denying in that. I felt so sorry for him, he didn't have a real family, a real childhood, and not even a lot of friends. It had alwayd made me angry when I noticed how disrespectful the gladers were towards him. Chuck was a sincere person, an innocent soul that shouldn't have end up in such a place.

I nearly winced when the shorter boy wrapped his arms around me, it was what brought my tears to flow. I didn't want to lose Chuck, I didn't want to lose anyone, I didn't want to leave my home. I would miss this place so much, and I knew how crazy this sounded but I would miss my life in here. _I'm coming back. This isn't the last time I'm running out of here._

"Be careful.", Chuck whispered in my ear and I nodded with a shaky smile. Every tone of playfulness and teasing was gone now. This could be the last time we ever meet.

"We'll definitely be careful.", Thomas promised, apparently overhearing Chuck's whisper. I managed to pull back without letting out a sob, I wanted to be strong for Chuck.

" Being careful hasn't gotten us squat. It's all or nothing now, baby.", Minho announced with a smirk. I shook my head at him with a little smile, tears still running down my cheeks. Why was this so goddamn hard for me?

"We better get going.", I said with a wavering voice. I cleared my throat quickly, trying to calm myself down before we'd start to run.

"Well, good luck. If your psychic friend misses you too much I'll give her some lovin'.", Chuck smirked cheekily.

"Get lost shuck-face.", Thomas replied and Chuck gasped dramatically.

"Wow," Chuck exclaimed. "You're already using Alby's dirty words. Seriously, good luck."

"Thanks that means a lot. See ya shank.", Minho responded with an eye-roll. I surprised him with interwining our fingers, something I had only done with Thomas before, but it seemed like the right thing to do right now. I kept my gaze on the leaving Chuck the whole time, but out of the corner of my eye I could see him staring down at me.

"Don't forget my promise!" Thomas yelled. "I'll get you home!"

A pang of sadness rushed through me, I couldn't even get a right thought together on why. Thomas turned to us, eyes immediately landing on Minho's and mine hands. He cleared his throat and looked at Minho with an expression I couldn't quite name. I squeezed Minho's hand before letting go. It was probably weird for him, we never showed our affection in that kind of way, well not seriously. But how could you make fun of someone in this situation?

So to say I was surprised when Minho stepped in front of me, was an understatement. He had this one gentle glance he only had when he was seriously concerned, and I never wanted him to be. A world with a serious Minho wasn't a world I wanted to live in. And yet, I let him wipe away my tears and envelope me into a tight hug before he gave my backpack.

"Thank you.", I breathed out with a cracked voice. He only nodded his head and with a quick glance at Thomas, who was already settles with a look of dismay, we began entering the maze.

I didn't turn, but I heard him tripping and falling over his own feet, completely unaware of the fact that Teresa had just told him that she knew exactly that Thomas was running behind me so he could check me out while doing so. I let out a laugh as he began running with a red face again, and the redness didn't occur because of the exhaustion.

Suddenly his features changed, they became flatter, and then I realised he was probably talking to Teresa. The familiar feeling of jealousy made my stomach clench in anger, and I did my best to ignore the brown-haired runner. I never questioned the fact that they apparently could communicate through their minds. It was just... If someone, without a question the people who kept us here, decided the two had a special connection, why were they denying it anyway? Then again, if I had a telepathic connection with anyone I wouldn't actually yell it around, but how big where the chances of telepathic gladers all over the place? Exactly...

The hours went by pretty slowly, I felt bad and had constant worries on my mind. Even more than usually, and let's just say Thomas wasn't much of a help for me right now. I was relieved when Minho decided we should have lunch now.

"This is it.", he said after his second bite. "We've already run through the whole section. Surprise, surprise-no exits."

Even though I was well aware of the fact that we hadn't found any kind of exit, hearing it actually loud set a heavy weight on my chest. For the next few hours, we just ran after Thomas who, after examining every ivy, every in of every wall slowly grew discouraged. I could only nod at Minho's statement, it felt like some kind of cruel game the creators played with us, and it was about time to end it.

It was midmorning when we returned to the glade - we'd spent roughly a day in the maze, and I felt grounded. The seemingly daily routine in the glade didn't fool me, I knew things were out of hand, and the harder we all tried to cover that up, the more fucked up our situation became. It pained me to come back with empty arms and a blank mind, but we had found nothing useful in the glade, per usual.

I felt a sharp pain somewherein my chest when Newt told us that Eddy was taken by the Grievers last night. We had never been as close as I was with some other gladers, but I did count him as my friend, the pain in the ass I secretly never wanted to lose. Another friend gone, hell I even missed Gally.

I silently watched Minho freaking out, I didn't judge him, he had known Eddy very well. After Newt left it was just me and Thomas, and the tears in my eyes. I didn't cry though. I was so sick of crying.

"Are you guys a thing?", Thomas suddenly blurted out and I looked up at him with a questioning glance. "You and Minho, I mean. You guys seem so close... and I thought..."

"Are you fucking serious right now?", I snapped and couldn't help but frown at his words. Whenever there had been free time, normal free time, he had chosen to avoid talking about anything that related us, and now it seemed like he was all over it. After we had been so close...

"I-"

"You know what? I'm gonna check on Minho, my husband y'know.", I huffed and started to walk away, until he caught my wrist. He was closer then I wanted him to be right now, he didn't have the right to make me admire his face whilst I was angry at him. Yet my cheeks were flushed as I met his gaze, still refusing to give in.

"Alexis, please. I know I haven't been good at proving my feelings for you, but I really need you okay? All of this, since day one, you were the reason that kept me awake, the person I dreamed about, you were the person I wanted to get to know and I don't think I will make this without you. I don't care someone has given me the ability to read Teresa's freakin' mind, because the only mind I want to read is yours. Alexis, you have no idea how much you mean to me, but I'm starting to think you don't even care..."

I cut him off by standing on my tiptoe and softly connecting our lips. We had only shared a kiss once before, but I was already addicted to the taste of his lips, to the way they felt on mine, to him. It quickly became desperate and we soon had our hands all over each other, not in a sexual way, but in a way that seeked comfort. Thomas placed kisses on my jaw and on my neck before smashing his lips into mine again. I again, cursed the human body for his need of oxygen although staring at Thomas while he cupped my cheek wasn't such a bad thing either.

"I care. I care so much you stupid fucking idiot. I l- Did you really dream about me?", I asked with a playful undertone. Thomas rolled his eyes but still had a little smile on his lips.

"C'mon, you can tell me. Was it a nightmare? Or a normal dream? Or was it- Thomas was it a wet dream?", I randomly guessed but jumped in excitement as he blushed.

"Oh my god! You're having wet dreams about me! This is so cool! And a little gross but still cool!", I joked and avoided his nudge. "Does it turn you on the way I fall down the stairs? Wow you're dirty.", I grinned and burst with him into laughter.

"Jeez Alexis keep your cool. We should probably check on how far they got with the code.", Thomas tried to get serious but he broke into a smile every now and then.

"For real, I should check on Minho... You know what he's like.", I sighed. Thomas visibly stiffened, and I resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow at him.

"I'm jealous.", he stated.

"Don't be.", I replied as if it was obvious but he again, stopped me from walking away, this time gripping my waist. "But I am. You had so much more time to get to know each other. You're so close, and you have been through so much together and I don't want you to just decide one day-"

"Thomas please shut your beautiful mouth. Don't you think if I liked Minho the way I liked you I would've acted upon it as soon as I had the chance to? And trust me I _had_ the chance."

"This isn't exactly comforting."

"Love you too.", I retorted before I pulled myself out of his grasp to look after my favourite grumpy beauty queen.


End file.
